Why do I bother

Fellow Blogger Veyron recently mused about friends list etiquette in SL. Recently a long time friend of mine disappeared from my friends list. Granted she said she dropped a few weeks ago, but I had been rather busy the last few months and so had she. She in fact had taken a hiatus from SL for several months too. Logging in long enough to do her business and log out. At some point she arbitrarily decided that a large portion of her friends list was a waste of space to her so she struck many a name from it to include mine and my partner Izabella. When I discovered her name missing from my list I confronted her. She was rather matter of fact if not flip about her reasons. We hadn’t talked in a couple of months, so I wasn’t worthy of her friends list.  Ok, in normal circumstances I could understand her rationale, but she actually did mean something to me. I was not some casual contact she made one day. We had a long running history of interaction and looking out after each other. I truly believed her to be a close dear friend and that I mattered to her.

You see, we met 13 months ago by chance at Ahern. I took her sailing at Hollywood and it set of a whole series of events and introduced me to so many great people. I also returned the favor and introduced her to people I knew. When she had her traumatic break up with her first SL hubby, me and Izabella were there for her, to hold her hand and comfort her. It really mattered to us that she recovered and felt better. We loved that gal! She claimed that me and Iza were among her 4 most closest friends ever in SL. I believed her, I truly did. I felt the same way about her. I always felt that she had my back and that I had hers. If she ever needed help I’d come running and vice versa. Although we no longer hung out in the same sims all the time we knew what each was up to. Heck we were even invited as guest to her next wedding (she and the new hubby are doing fine still).

So it was quite the shock when I noticed her missing. I asked her what I did and she said nothing, other than us not chatting recently. To me it was a kick in the teeth. It was as if I had been told I was a ZERO, a nobody, someone not even worthy of a slot on her friends list. Right, I got the line about the friggin’ notecard, but seriously, few people use that option. You exchange notecards when you DON’T want to be friends.

So there you go. My unfortunate tale about friends and the friends list. If you are going to remove someone, then you better have a good reason and you should think it through. You may not realize what you mean to that person and vice versa. You could end up burning someone who really was a good friend of your yours.

So I say good riddance to her. If she can throw away 13 months of friendship on a whim, I guess she does not appreciate anything that his been done for her. Nor does she appreciate what she have done for me. Had we not met on 26 June 2006 in Ahern, our past year would have been so radically different.


The following is a eulogy to a lost friend. A friend who was very dear to me, but along the way became lost to me. I wish she could summon the words to talk to me, but she has cast herself off from my shores and has drifted into the sunset. Names have been altered to protect their identities.

It was a peaceful, warm day in Sailors Cove as I sat on a wooden chair on the deck of the clubhouse. The parrot
mascot squawked loudly as it circled overhead in large, lazy circles. I glanced at my watch and looked over at
GoSpeed. My eyes locked on her deep brown eyes and she nodded briefly, acknowledging what would happen next.

We got up and headed down the hill, stopping first to hit the clubhouse bell to signal our departure. We strolled side by side without a word past the stores and turned right at the last building, a yellow building housing an art gallery.
On the north side of the building was a freshly dug grave. Mind you avatars have no bodies, but the grave is
symbolic of the death of a friendship that I treasured. We sat on either side of the headstone and studied the name, contemplating our feelings, remembering good times and the bad times.

GoSpeed: “When did you meet her?”

Ravishal: “Back when I was active in the Mowry Bay Yacht club. August I beleive. Funny, I remember what her first
words to me were ‘Dance with me Rav'”.


GoSpeed: “So what was she like?”

Ravishal: “Smart, intelligent, caring, creative, a bit naughty at times, but in a playful way, and sensitive. I
remember going to her first art store and seeing all those iradescent pictures. Sort of like the old heirlooms your
grandmother would own.” We hit it off pretty well. Lots in common, plus she had a pretty high IQ like me, so my 50 cent words didn’t faze her 🙂 ”

GoSpeed: “Yeah, you got a pocket full of them at your disposal 😛 ”

Ravishal: “Indeed! Anyways as things progressed we both got into bigger things. I went over to Nantucket and helped Izabella and Tasha work on SLNE. By mid October I was running East End Radio, SLNE’s very own radio station. Gwendy had bought into 1/4 of a sim with a partner and had set up her house, garden and shop. The sweet gal even played my station on her parcel! Things went downhill for her. Her partner started screwing her over by messing with her parcel and returning her stuff. She eventually at my bidding moved to SLNE and made a home there. She also set up a couple of shops their too.”

GoSpeed: “Nice! Sounds like she trusted your opinion about it and moved based on your word.”

Ravishal: ” Pretty much I guess. Oh, she was also a BIG help with me radio station. She provided voice talent by
doing my station IDs and providing me constructive criticism about my station operations and practices. She knew
eaxctly how to say it in a way that didn’t offend me and in fact offered encouragement.”

GoSpeed: “So right after this the troubles began?”

Ravishal: “Yeah. That was when I had my break from Mowry Bay. She was there to offer me moral support like I was for her when she left her island. No one else really did offer much that much to me. She was patient and understanding throughout the whole ordeal. Then we had the other thing happen that I won’t go into that really tested us. It kept us apart for a long time, but I fought to get back to her and be her friend again. In the end it all worked out.”

We stood up and brushed the dirt off our knees and gazed out out at the waters. The sun made the water sparkle
brilliantly like hundreds of little mirrors. We stood behind the gravestone quietly for a few minutes as I collected my thoghts once again.


GoSpeed: “I can’t say she was too crazy about me though. Don’t know what her hangup was with me.”

Ravishal: “Hard to say Go. Everyone’s got their quirks.”

GoSpeed: “Still….”

Ravishal: “In any event their was more turmoil and I did what I could to spare her the drama. I could have easily
given here every little detail and I am sure she would have seen it as an attempt to make her choose sides. I respect her too much to every make her choose. Shit, there was a lot of drama. I restricted what I said to her and
perhaps that was a bad thing. I dunno, I just didn’t want to her to feel like she was in the middle. I’ve been in
the middle and it really sucks.”

GoSpeed: “I know what you mean, late winter in SLNE was sheer hell. The BS Drama was at a fever pitch and a lot of
people got hurt, us included. But we did land on our feet. New location, new radio station, new friends…”

Ravishal: “Yes we did wind up in a pretty good location and did quite well for ourselves. But sadly along the way we lost track of Gwen, she left SL for a while, but did come back. But damn if she was always busy,busy,busy. Or at least it seemed that way.”

GoSpeed: “Did it seem like she was avoiding you?”
Ravishal: “Yes it did. First she didn’t complete any of the voice over requests. Then she dropped out of the KONA Radio group. Then one evening I IM her and ask her what’s up? She’s having fun with some other friends and I just flat out ask her if she was through with me. She replies”I don’t know”. I ask her what the matter is and she has no real answer, she just sort of hints that it is my fault.”

GoSpeed: “That sucks, she’s upset, yet she won’t tell you what is bothering her. How are you supposed to do anything about it?”

Ravishal: “You tell me Go. You know what? The silent treatment is so much bullshit. If you can’t tell me what you are mad about, then it’s your problem. Figure out what the hell is eating you and then tell me.”

(EDIT: Gwendy dropped me as a friend last week)

Me and GoSpeed face each other, a common thought forming between us. We are both wearing our sad faces, resigned to the fact that Gwendy is gone, lost in her own grief. A slight breeze kicks up and a seagull begins to cry overhead. We look up, admiring the bright blue skies, the puffy clouds , noticing how lovely the day was.

“Hugs?” We say simultaneously.

Ravishal: “Awww, sure..”


We embrace each other and give a long tight hug. Then we turn to the sea again, pondering the future.

GoSpeed: “I hope we see her again.”

Ravishal: “Me too. I’m going to miss her. She was an awesome friend and fun to be with. This is SL, a week is like a month here. We’ll just have to see.”

GoSpeed: “Indeed.”

Ravishal: “Indeed!”


UPDATE NOVEMBER 2007:A little looking around and asking questions and it seems her fate has been sealed. She’s hooked up with an evil person who is exploiting her every weakness. Yes I said evil, it does exist. As far as “Gwendy” is concerned she is an adult who is fully aware of her faults and limitations. She knows she’s sleeping with the devil and she can help her own sorry ass from now on. She’s turned her back on everyone who truly gave a rats ass about her.

Seems round two was a big joke on all of us. Out of the 90 contestants, all 90 passed. Right. Sounds like the judges didn’t really know what they wanted in the first place. OK, fine. So as we settle in and get ourselves ready to tackle Round 3 we get this Notice from Simone Stern:

You should already be familiar with the work, and have it in your inventory. If you don’t, why are you here? If you’re not a fan of the work of me and cali and hya, why would this event be any more special to you than any OTHER modeling agency?

Again, this is NOT ANY OTHER MODELING AGENCY. You will be MORE than a walking talking landmark dispenser, or you’re in the wrong group. THanks.

Oh Great, now you tell us we have to be your clothes whores to be even worth a damn? I’m sorry you think so poorly of those who don’t purchase your clothing. I have exactly one dress outfit and one shirt from you. You see, I am a basic account and on a budget. I don’t have a lot of Lindens to spread around so I tend to buy less expensive clothing or get freebies. My primary goal in joining up was to broaden my horizons and meet new people. What better way then to join a team that included some of the most successful people in SL fashion. And FYI I do not consider myself a model nor do I go around begging designers for modelling jobs.

So I say they heck with it. I’ll just walk away from it since my intution tells me I’ll be regarded as just pixel meat with no identity of my own.


GoSpeed throws in the towel

GoSpeed's new skin for 17 April 07

Thursday night a friend told me about a competition to be a model for Simone Stern’s products. I figured what the heck and I signed up. One of the qualifying criteria is to follow instructions explicitly. That meant the entrance form had to be filled out EXACTLY as they specified or you would be disqualified. Having passed that my audition time was set for Saturday night at 6pm SLT.

I arrived at the audition place 30 minutes early and it was already filling up with ladies and a few men. Most were dressed to the nines and had jewlery and AOs attached. When the numbers climbed we were told to take them off (and all unecessary prims). I took off my shoes but darn it if I’ll go bald or use mesh hair! I ran into and old acquaintance of mine, Valena Glushenko, and we talked about how much of a “Goat Rope” this event was. Here’s a list of the stupidity we saw:

Talking when told to be quiet

arguing with the judges

not following directions

moving around, bumping into people after being told to stand still

The judges could have done a much better job in running this event. Some 30 people were scheduled for a 60 minute session. With the awful lag getting people on and off the stage was incredibly difficult. As we approached the second hour, those people started to arrive. When I left there were 90+ people in the sim. This was much bigger than Simone and Mariboy had envisioned. No doubt they’ll do it a different way next time. Oh, I did make it on stage! Exasperated, a judge put a posing stand on the stage and said the first one on the stand is next! Well, a lot of girls clicked and I won out by booting 3 other girls from the stand, sending them flying back into the crowd! They gave me the once over and I told them why I wanted to be a model. Then I got the heck out of there. Oh brother!

P.S. Thanks to Chatnoir Tangerine for loaning me a dress for the event!

Orange Dress

Ravishal Portrait

Probably the worst week in SL and RL for me in quite a while. Nothing I really care to discuss but it’s dampened my enthusiasm for SL quite a bit, hence the lack of updates. I’m hoping this upcoming week is better. Did have a nice dance with my wife, Izabella Bentham at the Blue Note sim:

Blue Note

We also had a Pirate party at Sailors Cove last Saturday which was pretty fun. Her I am dancing with GoSpeed. Notice how Iza isn’t too happy about that. GoSpeed has a habit of being a rascal at times 😛

GoSpeed the rascal

She also got into a little scrap with a german gal who wasn’t told that the sailboat race was also a combination bumpercars and sea battle. Seems the frauline wanted to file an Abuse Report on GoSpeed, but all was resolved peacefully.

GoSpeed's new skin for 17 April 07 So here I was at Galaxy, a big ole luxury ship 3 sims long. I couldn’t get into Paisley’s show, but did make it in later to hear DJ Skua spin some classic tunes. It is such a lovely place! But that’s not what this entry is about, oh no no no! When I arrived the diamond sploder had $10K Linden in it. Soon it reached over $20K! Well here is where things went wrong. There were up to 100 people in the sim, 78 people paid into the sploder. an 180 second countdown took, oh, abou 70 minutes. Then it “exploded”. Nope, no money was dispensed. Floating text above it indicated it was trying to divvy up the money. Well I waited and waited. 30 minutes went buy and I just gave up. turns out another 30 minutes went buy before it doled out the money.

Ok, so I only put in $20L, but’s the principle. Other folks put in a LOT of money. The management chose to not say a thing. Obviously the high number of prims, scripts and avatar attachemnts bogged the server down terribly. I think a sploder in that environment just will not work. Anyways, was only 20L. If it had been more, well, look out folks!


UPDATE:  Basically the owner of the sploder says tough cookies. Well, McPhenius Swain, I’ll be sure to let my friends know they should not participate in your contest when the sim is packed. Gee whiz, Who can you trust in that sim if anything goes wrong? Yeah, right, blame it all on the Lindens, easy cop out.

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